Falling Out

Protect Your Peace

I don’t know why we pull the cards on the stream. I think they were within arms reach when I was streaming one day and needed to fidget, and didn’t want to not give the show-a-card closure to showing the shuffle. When @StephenD20 started associating them with some list of 52 Saints he had created (as a hobby?) - they became part of what the knowing call the show’s liturgy. Hey, at least I’m not playing with the Major Arcana.

I don’t want to know the odds of trip 2s

Three of decks came into possession via one Agent Holly Coco, who was operating most recently under the alias Peak Kayfabe. Wielder of the controversial Twitter (while she used it) account @girlint37111969 - and I just now discovered she would have loved that her final tweet was her final tweet…

When I’m not livestreaming, I’m virtually always in a videogame cope these days. There’s the last laundered load of her clothes that’s going into boxes instead of the trash (for a reason I can’t articulate) that won’t make it into the box. There’s me, feeding the animals (including frying Bison every night for Kayfabe), streaming more often than not, and otherwise in a digital otherworld.

For awhile it was Civilization. Then, in what is hard to discern between improvement or decline, came StarCraft II. Currently I’ve begun Falling Out again, playing Fallout 4.

I’d just found out the show had been released on Amazon (probably the same day she made that tweet) and was about 5 episodes through it when she left this life. It took weeks, but the seedsong verse of “Crawl out through the fallout back to meeeeeee” eventually worked.

This resulted in me misappropriating show funds into the purchase of an Xbox, where I had Fallen Out years before. Can’t help but wonder if I was writing anywhere at the time. It was when I had fallen back to this town in Oklahoma after living in Vegas for six months with the notion my Portland Community College Paralegal degree would be my way into a job in the Vegas law world. MF’rs are too hungry in that town. I could never want it bad enough.

It was alongside my slide to my current moral low that I was Falling Out before, prior to the Easter Return to PDX, the Truther Days, and my grandma’s sudden illness bringing me back to this town by Thanksgiving - 16, 17… what’s numbered memory anyway.

Then, as now, though a single player game, I play alongside my father - trapped in his own Post-Apocalyptic Skinnerbox Sandbox - via the voice ‘party’ feature of the xbox network (which recently suffered a login server issue severing users globally from everything they’ve been paying for).

I know there hasn’t been much writing here. I’m expecting there will be a week or two of no streaming now.

I did recently record a great conversation with The German Dragon, if you miss me.

… and my conversation with Jordan Hall is almost as much must-see-TV as The Vervaeke Happening.

Anyway, sorry I’ve not given you more in written form (though some of you choose to support me here as to not do business with YouTube). More of it is neither ruled out nor expected at this point - but what I assume must be part of the persona’d me trying to emerge from this constructed self catastrophe, has insisted I ‘stream-no-more’ until Agent HollyCoco’s clothing and things no longer abide with me, and I’m not sure when enough of the inside will shift toward motion.

A Canadian Friend with schooling and such has offered to assist and I may lean on that support.

Until I resurface, here’s a card pull and my well wishes.